The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon : KUSA : August 5, 2016 11:35pm-12:37am MDT : Free Borrow & Streaming : Internet Archive (2024)

how long the 70s might be sticking around. the clouds created a cool scene at the eisenhower johnson tunnel. this is the time lapse before 5:00 this evening. the loveland ski area not even visible through the low-hanging clouds. they did end up moving out. temperatures were in the 40s today for most of the afternoon. it is a mystery tonight why a man traveling on i-70 was shot several times by another driver who pulled up next to him. all happened before 1:00 in the morning. the victim man from kansas alongside him and next thing he remembers, gunshots paramedics took him to the hospital. investigators don't know the motive for the shooting. they are look at surveillance videos from businesses near i- 70 but they are not saying what they might be looking for in those videos. lakewood police investigating a fatal accident. investigators are wondering if

police say they received call that man was lying injured in the middle of garrison street near 10th avenue and lakewood . when officers arrived they found damaged power poles and traffic signs near the ?? intersection but the car that did the damage was nowhere to be found. the man's wife was on scene when paramedics arrived but her car was untouched. officers then located a ford suv several blocks away. the vehicle that he was in, with his sister-in-law who was his wife's twin sister. she told divorce he was driving then threw himself car following an argument. she said she tried to gain control of the vehicle before causing damage. got spooked and drove off. the man later died at the hospital. investigators are trying to figure out what happened. . what is the history here. there is any history of drug abuse, alcohol abuse, domestic abuse or violence. is there anything to support

suicide. >> investigators have not released the man's identity but said he was 30 years old and was living with his wife and her sister in the same house. the cause of death is under investigation. no charges have been filed. man with a bat threatened and attacked security guards at a campground north of fort collins at lakeside resort lane. the sheriff's office says deputies tried to they say he attempted to bite them and tried to kick out did windows of a patrol vehicle. several deputy were injured. donald trump took steps tonight to repair his tattered relationship with the republican party establishment. after snuck house speaker paul ryan he finally endorsed his reelection bid. earlier this week he told "the washington post," he was quote, not quite there yet when asked about ryan. those were the exact words ryan used before endorsing trump.

green bay, wisconsin. whether trump is coming to colorado on tuesday as discussed is now in question. last night mesa county republican leaders said they were looking at sites for a visit tuesday. now those leaders say trump campaign went radio silent on them. staff at the colorado state fair was also in a discussion about a stop in pueblo. they did get a call back from team trump and they were told he would not be in pueblo on tuesday. one year ago pristine waters of the animas water turned sickly yellow. the u.s. environmental protection agency will pay $1.2 to tribes and local governments for massive spill in colorado. the epa has said it will pay money to transcribes and local governments down river. the -- to tribes and local

million on spill-related costs. >> the town is reclaiming the name super fun days. >> we're going to be doing everything tongue in cheek but a lot of information. >> we hope our downstream partners will come up and check it out. the information will be here. we want to you participate, too. we know it everyone in the watershed. this weekend a 5k color run. you can only wear colors of the river. we will tell you about the cauldron lit tonight.

weather.

phelps, felix, gatlin, williams. and the stars after this. tonight we will bring you the medal count and update you on the u.s. standing. monoco has never won a medal. fiji is one of the favorites in ruggy. honduras may earn its first medal in soccer.

yesterday against algeria. tonight's opening ceremonies are the latest chapter in a long and storied history for the stadium built for the 1950 world cup. it once could hold 200,000 people. it has seen frank sinatra. madonna, the rolling stones and prince. during the next two weeks the olympic flame will be moved out of of the stadium and burn in another area of rio that venue was unveiled to a crowd late tonight and the flame just arrived there a few minutes ago. an american artist anthony howe specializes in design, created the caurdron -- cauldrons for the games. stars of the event, the

compete in the games until later were here in colorado tonight. they aren't the only ones. track stars emma coburn and jenny simpson had sendoff parties tonight in boulder. >> nice to see the weather cooperating to the south in colorado springs. around here, cool, cloudy conditions all day long. it looked like it wanted to rain. we had a couple of sprinkles here and there but up in the mountains, a different story. pretty murky looking skies out there. this one near leadville. you e with all of those recent rains we have had. things are look beautiful. around denver, feeling a little bit like fall. yup. 70 degrees the past couple of days. got me thinking when is the last time we saw some 70s for the first week of august in denver. well, it was back in 2013 when we saw temperatures in the low 70s. right now 64 downtown. lining up those 50s from estes

mid 60s in sterling. right now out templet, most -- right now out at the airport, mostly cloudy skies. it looks like it wants to rain but we haven't seen that much today. maybe a better shot tomorrow. here in the back yard, 66 degrees. watching storms moving into the state. certainly heavy pockets of rain, just not making their way to the metro area. across southwestern colorado, the san juans picking up a good dose of rain showers. not a ton of lightning. all ti where we have plenty of lightning strikes out there as well as area advisories until 230 in the morning in parts of the panhandle for oklahoma. but you can see the widespread water from basically just south of lamar, hitting springfield, walsh and pretty much nothing here in the metro area. those clouds were in place all day long and just a little too warm up in the upper levels. a little too dry down here to get anything. we still have this flash flood

this should be winding down very soon. tonight, we're at about 57. still a chance out there. seeing early morning showers as well. we will certainly hang with the clouds overnight as well. 50s and 60s for overnight conditions across the eastern plains. 51 in buena vista. and here we are, first week of august, and we haven't seen much wet weather. certainly the cooler weather. only a trace out at the airport where we keep score. and our average, typically a so of an inch of rain. south of i-70 picking up in intensity as it moves off around 2:00 or 3:00. in the northeastern plains you will see some rain showers, a little fog and then some sun breaks in the denver metro area. a little heat, a little warmth and that should help fire up these thunderstorms that once again will be coming at us from the west-southwest tomorrow afternoon. by 3:00, these showers and

they cross over and intensify once they are east of the i-25 corridor. 7:00, 8:00, these thunderstorms are rocking and rolling. and we will be watch this area in southeastern colorado, parts of lincoln county could see the heaviest amount of wet weather and also they do have chance of seeing some storms turning severe. that will be across southeastern colorado from the storm prediction center where we could find large hail tomorrow afternoon as well as gusty winds up to about 60-65 miles an hour. this is our rain fore. weekend. through about 11:00 on sunday, with once again, this heavier pocket indicating anywhere between about 3 to 5-inches of rainfall from these cycloslow- moving heavy thunderstorms. tomorrow will be at about 79. wake up again, a little bit of fog here and there. partly cloudy skies until about lunch time. that cloud deck moves in and the thunderstorms follow suit. still should be just a couple of degrees warmer than today. about 79 here in the metro area. we will keep it cool in the 60s

the foothills tomorrow. 78 degrees and aurora, 75 and parker upper 70s. 69 in grand lake. so, upper 70s, one more day in the 70s. then temperatures bounce back. 88 on sunday and those storms are going to turn more isolated for the start of next week. we will see daytime highs returning to the 90s. the summer sunshine is back. look at wednesday. 95! we will bring in slightly cooler temperatures. back to the 80s next friday and saturday. but nothin t really has felt more like fall. pumpkin spice lattes and sweater weather. >> you had to mention the pumpkin spice lattes. >> that is a weakness. >> don't think about it. it will be summer tomorrow. thank you, danielle. >> just say no. a key anniversary for a local cowith ties to the the upter probe juno.

it is getting ready for the closest look we have ever had. that close encounter will happen on august 27. starting next month you can take a step way back in colorado's history. the u.s. forest service is offering guided tours into picket wire canyon land. home to the largest dinosaur track site in north america. one area has 1500 dinosaur footprints. heads up. wheel drive vehicle.

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most time elapsed between his2998 hit and his number 3,000. david daw extended his career- opening hitting streak to 11 games with an 8th inning single that gave colorado the lead. but they blew it in the 9th and lost 5-3. becomes kickoff the exhibition season next thursday against nearly all of his fingers to count the pages in his notebook. >> reporter: the broncos just finished up their 9th training camp practice. number 9. took a while for bronco fans to realize camp had started. crowds were small for three days but have grown to record proportions this week.

acrobat. number 7, competition for running back behind anderson is fierce. doss was a fifth round corner back last year and rainey was undrafted slot receiver last year. tyson brylo can't catch a break. aquibtalib and demarcus wier still are no and them both to return for light practice next week. packton lynch has a weigh to go is number -- paxton lynch has a ways to go. he's getting extra coaching from gary kubiak. vonn miller is leaner and no less meaner. it still takes two to block him. and number 1 things we have learned so far at broncos training camp, mark sanchez has

quarterback job. trevor simeon is right there with him. and there is only so much you can learn about a team through practice. the broncos need a game. rocky mountain showdown is four weeks from tonight. it is the season opener for both buffaloes and rams. they have had 10 losing seasons in a row but the coach thinks the buffs are ready to break the streak. that. >> is how you develop a from the ashes. you keep -- you get people that stay and believe and compete and keep going. hopefully, they will rise out of the ashes this year. >> nascar's furniture row racing doubled chances of taking the checkered flag by adding a second car. eric jones who can drive sideways faster than the rest of us can straight will join martin truex, jr., next year in the sprint cup series. still of the night comes from lower downtown where itch

that bat held high -- suzuki may have struck out but that bat held high and signature tug on his jersey still looks cool in the still of the night. is it life imitates art? look at this right here. platform the exact same ichiro. the little tug with the bat. >> that is his signature. >> although you were have a jingle for still of the morning. >> that is right. >> you were dangerously close. >> good point. >> would you have had to sing it yourself because we don't have one of those.

good morning. welcome to 9 news saturday. we will begin at 6:00 on channel 20. this is good night!

[ cheers and applause ] ? >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- jerry seinfeld, seth rogen, musical guest jason derulo. and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 516, strong island! yeah. >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon!

? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you! thank you very much! [ cheers and applause ] ? >> audience: u.s.a.! u.s.a.! u.s.a.! u.s.a.! u.s.a.! u.s.a.! >> jimmy: oh, thank you very much! [ cheers and applause ] oh, that felt good. oh! i feel fantastic. welcome to the "tonight show," everybody! [ cheers and applause ] i'm your host, jimmy fallon, and i'm only wearing this so

of course, everybody's excited about tonight's opening ceremony of the rio olympics! [ cheers and applause ] exciting. it's great. wasn't it great? i don't know about you. my favorite part was when they had all those guys dressed up like construction workers frantically trying to finish the stadium. [ light laughter ] so realistic. so realistic. but it's actually true. construction crews were still finishing parts of the stadiums in rio right before the opening ceremony. yeah, that's right. they went tout together! don't -- [ laughter ] don't cut that. wait till it dries. cut it in a week." of course, rio has had its fair share of problems the last couple of months getting ready for the olympics, but if you're looking for just one moment that sort of sums it all up, i think this might be it. >> and now, adding insult to injury, check out these workers using bolt cutters to open the gates to the stadium to tonight's venue after reportedly losing their key. [ laughter ]

they're going to be so mad when they remember the spare key under the flower pot. [ laughter ] like, "oh, why didn't you tell me? i had a bolt cutter." this had some people disappointed. the international olympic committee is banning people from using their footage to make gifs or vines, which has a a lot of younger people bummed out. but they didn't say anything about memes. [ laughter ] so we wanted to help you get started. here's a few olympic memes that we came up with. first up, this meme says, [ laughter ] [ applause ] this meme says, "when bae see that search history." [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: ooh. >> jimmy: here's another athlete. her meme says, "when you realize your mom joined facebook." [ laughter ] it's like, "noooo! no!" [ applause ] finally, here's a spring board diver. his meme is -- "just had chipotle." [ laughter ]

started. you can do whatever you want with them. [ applause ] guys, here's an election update. i read that hillary clinton's campaign is stepping up their efforts to get millennials to vote for her in november. when he heard that, donald trump said, "i'm pretty sure millennial's gonna vote for me. she's my wife." [ laughter and applause ] "isn't that right, millennial?" this is pretty funny. donald trump unveiled his economic policy team today, and apparentlyt' entirely of men, six of whom are actually named steve. [ laughter ] trump was like, "in my defense, you know how hard it has to find women named steve? [ laughter ] i mean -- i tried. [ applause ] right, millennial?" [ laughter ] i saw that a female reporter asked donald trump about how many women would be in his cabinet if he became president. and trump's answer was pretty good news for the reporter. take a look. >> who you would actually put into office as one of your

>> well, we have so many different ones to choose. there really are so many that are really talented people, like you. you are so talented and -- i don't know if you're -- [ light laughter ] >> is this breaking news? am i going to be in the cabinet? >> you know, there really is some very talented -- >> is that a yes? >> sounds like it to me. >> oh! [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: come on! it's not like some random tv personality can just end up in the white house. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] we have a great show tonight. give it up for the roots, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ? ? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, very much, everybody, thank you very much. the summer olympics opening ceremonies were so great tonight, and now we're happy to

from the emmy nominated series, "comedians in cars getting coffee," jerry seinfeld is stopping by tonight! [ cheers and applause ] it's a big show. >> steve: come on! >> jimmy: also, joining us tonight is another hilarious person, whose new movie "sausage party" is in theaters -- [ laughter ] -- everywhere next friday. features a superstar cast. "sausage party." >> steve: love it. >> jimmy: it's his film. >> steve: "sausage party." >> jimmy: our man, seth rogen, is in the house, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] it's an animated film. seth -- seth and i are going to talk about the "sausage party" movie. then he and i are going to face off in a lip sync battle. [ cheers and applause ] [ imitating vuvuzela ] >> steve: vuvuzela. >> jimmy: and we have great music from my pal. jason derulo is here! >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] [ imitating vuvuzela ] [ laughter ] goes with the --

[ laughter ] >> jimmy: guys, today's friday, and that's usually when i catch up on some personal stuff. you know, i check my inbox, i return some e-mails, and of course send out thank you notes. [ cheers and applause ] well, i was running a bit -- running a bit behind, so i thought, if you guys wouldn't mind, i'd just like to write out my weekly thank you notes right now. is that cool? you guys are the best. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. i got my pen. i got my -- i got my note cards here. james, can i get some thank you note writing music, please? ? oh. >> jimmy: yeah. how patriotic he is. he wore his -- all his black, uh -- >> steve: his black plaid. >> jimmy: his black plaid, yeah. exactly, yeah. ? thank you, nbc's coverage of the olympics in rio de janeiro, for allowing me to watch bob costas profile athletes, see matt lauer interview gold medalists, and most importantly, hear tom brokaw say, "rio jee janeiro." [ laughter ] rio dee janeiro.

[ laughter ] >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: he's the best. [ light laughter ] ? thank you, team u.s.a.'s opening ceremony outfits, for showing america that our athletes are ready and fired up -- to go to prep school in 1985? >> steve: yeah! [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm down. ? thank you, olympic event logos, from the men's bathroom sign likes to stay active. [ laughter ] i mean, busy dude. >> steve: busy guy. >> jimmy: he does everything. >> steve: everything! swims. >> jimmy: like crossfit. >> steve: skis. everything. >> jimmy: everything. >> steve: just like james. [ light laughter ] [ laughter ] ? >> jimmy: thank you, 74th annual golden globes, for letting me host next year.

? although, now that the globes are 74, they just renamed them the sag awards. [ laughter ] >> steve: hey! is that true? >> jimmy: that is not true. it's a joke. >> steve: they didn't. okay. ? >> jimmy: thank you, "the bachelorette," jojo, for choosing jordan, thus creating the perfect celebrity couple name, jojo. [ laughter ] >> steve: jojo. yeah. ? >> jimmy: thank you, high jump, or as i like to call you, opposite limbo. [ laughter ] >> steve: exactly. you don't go under, you go over. [ applause ] ? everybody round the world jack be nimble jack be quick ? ? jack go under limbo stick ?

>> steve: let's do it. [ light laughter ] ? >> jimmy: thank you, "sausage party," for hitting theaters next week and hitting the internet this week. [ laughter ] >> steve: hey oh! [ cheers ] >> jimmy: hey! >> steve: wow! ? orlando's in bloom. >> jimmy: all right. hey. [ cheers ] ho! hey! >> steve: hey! ? >> jimmy: thank you, people who sleepwalk, for literally following your dreams. [ laughter ] [ applause ] ? >> steve: thank you. [ light laughter ] ? >> jimmy: thank you, nbc's logo during the olympics, for making it look like the peaco*ck just laid a bunch of eggs. [ laughter ] there you go -- have it right there. those are my thank you notes. we will be right back with jerry seinfeld! [ cheers and applause ]

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[ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: welcome back, everybody! welcome back! we are joined right now by a a legendary stand-up comedian who created and starred in one of the greatest sitcoms of all time, and his web series "comedians in cars getting coffee" was just nominated for emmy award for outstanding variety talk series. please welcome one of the best to ever do it, mr. jerry seinfeld! [ cheers and applause ] ? [ cheers and applause ] ? ?

>> jimmy: we'll all sit down, we'll all relax. >> i didn't want, i just wanted that part. >> jimmy: no, no. we got to talk part. >> oh. >> jimmy: yeah, the talk part. >> okay, all right. >> jimmy: it's a talk show, yeah. >> oh, it's a talk show. [ light laughter ] people talking. >> jimmy: people talking. that's what we do. >> it's ridiculous. >> jimmy: no, this is not ridiculous. people like to watch this. >> they do. it's weird. they can talk, but no, they want to watch us talk. >> jimmy: yeah. [ cheers ] it's more, it's morey >> yes, they do. >> jimmy: to hear you talk. [ cheers ] >> and they want to hear you. they want to know what you want to know about me. >> jimmy: that's true. >> yeah. they want to know. >> jimmy: well first, i want to -- >> what is jimmy going to ask? >> jimmy: yeah. i don't ever ask like any gotcha questions. are you worried when you come on my show? >> no. i'd like to see you get me. i would like it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, i can't -- >> you can't. >> jimmy: it's like pokemon. i can't get you. >> no. >> jimmy: i can't get to you. [ laughter ] i can't get, you're ungettable. >> no. >> jimmy: yeah. i wouldn't want to do that. i want to -- >> what? what have you ever done?

you have done anything. >> not really. >> jimmy: i don't think you have. >> no. >> jimmy: no. >> why is our voice so high? >> jimmy: i know, like i start -- [ laughter ] every time you come on i start talking like you. >> i love it. >> jimmy: and then you start talking like my impression of you. >> that's right. >> jimmy: and then by the end we're both talking like this. we're both yelling. [ laughter ] that's serious. that's what we both do when we yell and talk. [ applause ] i've got to say congratulations on "comedians in cars getting coffee." >> thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you got nominated. >> thank you. >> jimmy: it is a great . and it's on crackle.com. but i don't know where that is. i don't know how i find it. >> you don't have to. >> jimmy: i find it. >> just type in the name of the show. >> jimmy: and you find it. >> and you find it. >> jimmy: it is great. >> and it's pretty, thank you. and it's pretty, so it's the same category that this amazing show is in. >> jimmy: yeah, we are nominated for the same category. >> for the same category. how uncomfortable is this? [ cheers and applause ] it's so uncomfortable. >> jimmy: it's true. >> and here is why it's uncomfortable. >> jimmy: why? >> because this is as big as it gets. your show on a major network, the amount of money that is

with three gopros in a used car. [ laughter ] i have now -- >> jimmy: that is -- >> we're now tied. we're tied. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. you know what? here is why i really like you. you're a happy person. >> don't you think i am? >> jimmy: yes. >> you know me pretty well. we've hung out a bunch. >> jimmy: are you a happy person? >> i'm a happy person. >> jimmy: but you're also very irritable. >> very irritable. >> jimmy: you do. >> yeah. [ light laughter ] i don't even get myself. i don't understand it. >> jimmy: you're -- yeah. >> everything's bothering, as much as i'm enjoying life. >> and you can see i'm a guy that enjoys life. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i'm extremely irritated all the time. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: what is bugging you? what is bugging you recently? >> i don't know. well, every time you come to a a light in new york, you wait to see which cab door is going to open and what is going to come out of his mouth. [ laughter ] every cab driver at every red light spits something out on to the street. >> jimmy: but that's the time to spit. >> yeah.

throw on the street in new york will just be reabsorbed into the city. [ laughter ] it's just, oh, it goes back in the flow of the city. >> jimmy: yeah, exactly. like the ocean. yeah. >> yeah, just like the ocean. >> jimmy: yeah. what else is bugging you? >> well, i went and took the kids bowling the other day. >> jimmy: that's fun. my kids are too young. >> but pretty soon. >> jimmy: really? >> pretty soon. because they have it -- the way they set it up, here's how horrible we are as parents, our whole generation, you, me. they have this thing now in a a in the gutter. sticks like a fence comes up in the gutter so that the kid can't not hit the pins. he can't miss. this is how nice life preparation, by the way. [ light laughter ] if your child is traumatized by a gutter ball, the kid's not going to make it, okay? [ laughter ] not going to make it. just quit. >> jimmy: just quit. yeah. >> quit right now. we need to put an extra gutter, that would be good parents. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: a third gutter.

out there? it's all gutters, kid. it's all gutters. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's exactly right. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: prepare them for life. >> prepare 'em. >> jimmy: how old are your kids now? >> kids are 15, 13 and 10. >> jimmy: do they have cell phones? >> yeah, sure. sure, yeah. >> jimmy: they all do, right? >> yeah, they all do. remember when your life was just your life? that was kind of what you were thinking about? >> jimmy: yeah. >> and now it's your life and your phone's battery life. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: those are your lives. >> yeah. and i don't know which is more important. [ light laughter ] because if your phone's dead, does it really matter if you're still alive? [ laughter ] it doesn't. >> jimmy: come on. >> when the phone's getting weak, do you feel tired? [ light laughter ] i feel -- when my phone is down like 19, i feel like, just so weak. >> jimmy: you're drained, as well. >> drained, yeah. >> jimmy: you're drained as well. "comedians in cars" is is it season eight? >> no. could be. >> jimmy: i mean, it's getting

we just do six and they are short shows. very short. >> jimmy: this last one fantastic. >> oh, thank you. >> jimmy: congratulations on the nom -- you did an interview with lorne michaels. >> lorne michaels, your executive producer. >> jimmy: who i just love and he's just the smartest guy. >> yeah. >> jimmy: the most fun, charming guy. >> he's a guy that everybody knows about but nobody really knows what's he really like? >> jimmy: he was the best interview i've ever seen with lorne michaels. >> oh, thank you. thank you. it was fun. >> jimmy: it was like going out to dinner with him. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and telling all those great stories. >> yes. >> jimmy: you know what else? >> they're great stories. >> jimmy: you're good. because you're a good listener, good audience. >> yes, i am. >> jimmy: you laugh. [ light laughter ] >> i like comedy. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and i like anything funny. if i like the person, anything they say, i laugh. >> jimmy: yeah, it's great. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and it's fun to watch. >> i'm like you that way. >> jimmy: you do, yeah? >> you're a good audience, too. >> jimmy: yeah. i like to -- you know i'm a fan of you and i -- >> yeah, i'm a fan of you. >> jimmy: i'm a fan of you. [ talking over each other ] [ cheers and applause ] you are you, i'm you. we're both you.

everyone a clip, if you haven't seen it. here is lorne michaels describing how working with comedians is like watching monkeys at the zoo. [ light laughter ] this is "comedians in cars getting coffee." >> and then -- >> and then before you leave there's the monkeys. there's something about the joy, the sheer fooling around because it is what comedians do. you know, you can't tell when they're working. you know what i mean? you can't tell what they're doing or how they're working. and it's disorganized and chaotic and they are doing it to make each other laugh. settling down and getting work done. >> no. they're talking in the hall about sports. >> yeah. >> and somehow at the end of the week there is a show. >> exactly. so you can't run that through a a normal organizational -- >> because they're the monkeys. >> yeah, because they're the monkeys. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah, exactly. that's the problem. >> we're the monkeys. >> jimmy: thank you for being here. i'm about to do a lip sync battle will seth rogen. >> oh. >> jimmy: later on in the show. have you ever lip sync battled me?

that? >> you know what, jimmy? anything you ask me to do, i would do. and i don't want to do it. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and i don't think i would like it or be good at it. if you say do it, i will do it. >> jimmy: all right, then -- >> not now. >> jimmy: not now. maybe some time. >> some time. some time. >> jimmy: all right, good. guys, watch jerry's emmy-nominated series. comediansincarsgettingcoffee.co. [ cheers and applause ] rrt there. seth rogen joins us after the break! stick around, everybody. it will be great. [ cheers and applause ] ? i note the obvious differences in the human family. some of us are serious, some thrive on comedy. i've sailed upon the seven seas and stopped in every land, i've seen the wonders of the world not yet one common man. i know ten thousand women

mirror twins are different although their features jibe, and lovers think quite different thoughts while lying side by side. i note the obvious differences between each sort and type, but we are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike. we are more alike, my friends,

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how does a girl go from this... oh, screw off. ...to this. [ beeps ] i'm pregnant? you have no idea which of us is the father? surprise. [ laughs nervously ] bridget, who do you want to be the father? the billionaire? or the ex? bridget, i've missed you. oh, god. how would you like to give birth? quickly. [ moaning in pain ] just think away the pain. rated r. september 16th. , wendy's has noticed that you love queso. guilty your honor. well congratulations, because your queso obsession has inspired wendy's queso mission. introducing wendy's new green chile quesoburger... wendy's fresh never frozen beef topped with the crave curing queso you love so much. and... you're staring... sorry. the green chile queso burger,

inspired by the queso obsessed, for the queso obsessed. ? ? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we are joined by a a very funny and hard working comedian, writer, and director, starting next friday, you can see him and an amazing cast including jonah hill, kristen wiig, edward norton and selma hayek in the first r-rated computer generated

it's called "sausage party." it's hilarious. please welcome back to the show, one of our favorites, here is seth rogen! [ cheers and applause ] ? they're sausage they're bull[ bleep ] ? ? they're sausage they're bull[ bleep ] ? ? they're sausage they're bull[ bleep ] ? they're sausage they're bull[ bleep ] ? ? they're sausage they're bull[ bleep ] ? ? they're sausage they're bull[ bleep ] ? ? they're sausage they're bull[ bleep ] ? >> tariq: what i wanna know is where the sausage at? >> jimmy: we're so happy you came back. >> jimmy: thank you for coming back -- >> thank you for having me. >> jimmy: they love you. come on, we love you. >> that's so nice. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you're in a great mood tonight. thank you, thank you, thank you. >> thank you, that's wonderful. >> jimmy: you have a history of following jerry seinfeld. >> i do have a very unfortunate history of follow jerry seinfeld. when i was, like, 14 years old, i wanted to be in the just for laughs comedy festival which is in montreal, and to audition for it, i had to fly to los angeles, which is weird because i'm already canadian, don't

nervous and i'm at a showcase at the improv. >> jimmy: on melrose? >> yeah on melrose, and so i'm about to go up, and someone tells me seinfeld's coming. i was, like, what? he's coming, and if he gets here before it's your time, he's going to go up, and then you'll go up. i was, like, no, man! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you can't follow seinfeld. >> tell them no. do that. that's not how it works. and so i literally remember seeing a porsche pull up out front so i was like "no." i know him and his porsches. his jewish parents should be ashamed, by the way, but anyway. [ laughter ] so -- a porsche pulled up, my parents would kill me. and then i see i see him getting out, and he goes up, right before i'm supposed to, and he, like, annihilates like he's very funny. he's talking about missing

it's the hits you know. >> jimmy: he has all the hits. [ light laughter ] he's the greatest. >> yeah, yeah. and he, like, annihilates, and the whole time i'm just standing there, like, i hate you jerry seinfeld. [ light laughter ] how could you do this to me? >> jimmy: you ruined my whole shot of going to montreal. >> exactly and i get up on stage, and i have, like, what is to this date the most comedicly traumatizing experience of my entire life, and i remember, like, microphones give up just an electric hum if you don't hear anything else, it's like the sound of a speaker, and i remember being on stage, and to this point i remember the moment, where i was, "like, man, i can hear that buzz really loud right now." >> jimmy: oh no, i'm so sorry. >> never has a room full of people been so silent. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, my god. >> yeah, and to this day, i personally dislike jerry seinfeld. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and he did it again tonight. >> he did it again tonight. ruining it again! >> jimmy: i really had the same thing. >> really? >> jimmy: well, i had to follow

he came in, i saw the car outside. >> what is he doing? >> jimmy: i just -- i think he's making us tougher. >> yeah, i don't know. i think he finds out something cool we're about to do and then does it first. [ laughter ] i like, see him leaving my wife's bedroom. [ laughter ] don't bother, pal. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: well -- >> i took care of that. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: let's segue into the movie. >> that's an organic. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: thank you for the setup, "sausage party." >> i have to apologize, like i talked to the "new york times" about it. i'm like, you guys should not have to talk about this. i apologize. >> jimmy: well, i've heard a a lot of things i like about this. number one is you have been working on this for, like, ten years. >> yeah, which is humiliating to say about a talking hot dog movie, but, yes. [ laughter ] a third of my life, i've been working on making this movie. >> jimmy: you wanted it to be good, and the animation is spectacular, by the way. >> thank you so much.

skin and vibe and the overall feeling of a pixar movie, and then we made it completely deranged and insane, and, you know, pixar is so good at examining the secret life of cars and toys and bugs, and we're like, well, if you look at the secret life of food, it's horrifying because you eat it. and -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. >> so to us, it was a brilliant movie idea. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: the cast is jonah hill, michael cera, paul rudd, edward norton, it's unbelievable, and the music is by allen menken, who's won oscars. >> he's won like eight oscars i think. >> jimmy: how did you convince him? he did like "little mermaid." >> he did the "aladdin" and "the little mermaid." >> jimmy: how did you convince him to do "sausage party?" this is fantastic! >> it was great. we offered him money and then he -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, okay. >> i think he probably called the academy to make sure they

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Jerry Seinfeld; Seth Rogen. Also: Jason Derulo performs.

Notes

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